Cry. Stop. Her.

Cry.   Stop.   Her.

Just one more time with feeling

I coulda been you

I thought  that you knew

I coulda been all of

The lace in your shoes

.. ..

Wiggle and hop

Hobble and stop

Horrible acts and  mistakes in the plot

Trip on a rock, I hope it don’t stop

Don’t say i'd do better

if I wrote you a letter

.. ..

Mending and bending the whole in our time

Coping, disrobing and groping a crime

Morbidly washing all sins in a bath

With crooked bones, i took it home

to meditate upon, and on

.. ..

supply and demand

all worms in their cans

I wish you were here

just to hold my hand 

I know its not right

to fight for such flights

of fancy and things that went bump in the night

.. ..

but I will hold on tight.  

Lest i say goodnight 

to a thousand big dreams 

bidding for the wrong team

mischief is mine.  

I shoulda made a sign.

.. ..

Alert and take caution.

may contain poison . and

some animals bite before saying goodnight

Tuck them in very tight . it may be a long night.

.. ..

Watching for bandits I covet the land

Of potatos tomatoes and men with their hands

Mourning the morning and selling the rest

Fish bakes and outtakes. I’m ready to rest

Be true and be tried.  go in with the tide.

Doesn’t matter what I friend on my way from that place 

courageous with waste, but i couldn't keep pace

Baby baby I’ll say it to your pocket 

I always did wish I could plug you in my socket

Surreptitious and suspicious, he said, 

she said, we’re out of line

This world goes by and quickly. and we all have forever

Forever and ever to change with the weather

I’ll pray for you always.  You , boy from my dream

I’ll grow up.  You’ll shut up.  And we’ll both leave this scene

What Muffins Say When Muffins Sigh

What Muffins Say When Muffins Sigh

a million miles from never baby ain't too far away
just close those eyes
and click those heels
and you'll know what to say

crimson berries melt on top
to drop would be an awful thought
what muffins say when muffins sigh
no one knows except that guy

who's building cupcakes with his hand
i thought myself his greatest fan
but vermons come and bakers go
what came of him nobody knows

From Easter To Halloween...

Tomorrow's Horoscope

At this time you may have to strive very hard to get anywhere but if so, your goals when you do reach them will be more permanent and far reaching. If you are unclear about what you are doing in some area, this is a good time to look inside yourself to find out what you really want to do. You should not and probably cannot move until you are clear about your objectives. In examining yourself, you may discover hitherto unknown psychological forces that you can use to gain your ends. A considerable change in self-understanding may be one consequence of this influence. If you are at all clear about your purpose, this influence should assure you of success in any undertaking that you become involved in now. Proceed full steam ahead and do not worry. Just avoid stepping upon other people's toes unnecessarily, because that can have dangerous consequences later on.

A Bee's Hero

I'm at my studio.  For the first time in 2 weeks.  I was in boston for 6 days, new york for 2, and taos for another 2....so that's a good excuse for absenteeism.
But I am not painting.   Not yet.

A few minutes ago I wandered out into the gallery next to my studio and I saw on the window ledge what I at first thought was an art installation.  A dozen dead bees.  Each one in a different dramatic death pose.  Some were in groups and pairs...and some died alone, but all were dead.

All but one.  


But his death was not far off.  The lone survivor of a the famine that took both his parents and all ten on his brothers and sisters, he buzzed and bumped along hopelessly yet desperately.  Desperately he fought the hunger and thirst that had taken his family.  He kept his bumble bee eyes set on the Albuquerque horizon outside the window.  The window so innocently installed so long ago.  I knew what I must do!  I must save this heroic bee!!

I used my human hands and my miraculous opposable thumb to twist open the locking mechanism on the window.  I used the brute strength of my soft, girly forearms to push open the top of the window, creating a gap in the window large enough for 10 bees to fly thru....all holding hands.

But alas there was just one bee.  And his story must be told!

I slammed shut the window apologizing to my helpless yet venomous friend, "Hang on little guy!  I gotta get this on tape!"

I ran to my studio as my legs would carry me (but not too fast because these floors are slippery and I didn't want to fall).  I grabbed my Flip.  "Out Of Batteries!" I moaned before dropping to my knees and staring up at the ceiling while shaking my fists at the fluorescent lights, "WHY!!?!?!?!"

BUT WAIT.  Didn't I just by batteries yesterday?!  Aren't they in that bag in the back seat of my car?
YES!
I ran down the hall, down the stairs, thru the other hall and nearly knocked over two hipsters in my haste to get out the door and run to the street, unlock my car, dive in the back seat and....YES! Batteries!

The video begins here.   But I won't spoil the ending.  But just know that TODAY....if i did nothing else (and it's certainly looking like that my be the case)... I saved the life of a heroic bee.  Which makes me...A Bee's Hero.

MIA

.

In The Direction One Hopes To Go

I love having a studio.  It's the most splendid thing. 

Had the most Terrible pathetic day spend moaning and groveling on my living room floor.  

Tried to pick a fight w/God in the Hot Tub.

It wasn't working.  The hot tub that is.

It wasn't hot, kinda luke warm.  

It was like sitting in an enormous puddle of pee.  

Which is actually the perfect metaphor for my day.

I stayed in the hot tub a long time actually considering how unhot it was and how many bugs and feathers and unidenitified floated objects (UFOs) were floating about.

Each time the little grey feather with the ant and the string stuck to it floated by I internally tipped my hat,  "And a good day to you as well sir."

Fell a bit behind on my blogging.  my apologies to anyone who actually follows this thing: i love you.  

 But i did finish the painting.  this is the same canvas that stared at me blankly as i stared back in terror just last week...or was it the week before... anyhow, it's done now, finished last tuesday.  painted the edges on wednesday and installed hanging hooks and wire on the back for the show on friday.

   I painted the edges with a mess of grays but i painted the bottom edge fluorescent pink.  it reminds me of those fancy heels with the bright red flash of paint on the bottoms.  i've always wanted a pair of shoes like that.  

 Finishing a painting can be really great.  until you wake up the next day and you realize you have nothing to work on.  and you have to start all over again.  on thursday, i didn't go to the studio.  thursday was the worst day i've lived through in a long time. 

 

Friday was the open studios night at the harwood.  which was fun and exhausting and lovely and full of people.  i put my best game face on (which means lots of lip stick, fake lashes, and hairspray) and i tried to talk to as many people as possible.  and smile.  i really enjoy big extroverty people gatherings like that for a small chunk of time.  but i always leave wondering if i said something weird or uncomfortable to anyone, always sure i did but unsure of what it was.  this often causes me to lie in bed and wince repeatedly as I try to fall asleep.

my favorite moment was when one of my pre-schoolers (from the job i recently quit!) showed up with her family.  i talked to them for a long time, i bent down several times to talk to and hug the little girl, giving her cake and juice.  she's one of my favorite pre-schoolers ever, she's an amazing artist and i'm completely obsessed with her drawings.  i was so excited that she was there in my studio seeing all my paintings.

 After about 20 or 30 minutes in my studio her parents said goodbye and they started heading out.  I leaned down and gave the little girl a big hug and told her how happy I was that she had come to see me in my art studio.  She looked at me, squinting hard, and finally said "Are you Ms. Juliet?"

That's right folks.  Seeing teachers outside of school can be confusing for little ones.  All that time she had no idea why this strange woman was hugging her and being so nice to her...LOL!

Afterwards, I was supposed to meet up with some of the harwood's other artists at a nearby pub, a meet up I helped organize. (gulp) But I blew it off to hang out with a woman who's an amazing jewelry artist and one of the overall coolest people I've ever known.  We sat in her backyard and talk next to the fire until about 1 in the morning.  At which point she invited me in to see her taxidermy collection.  

The last 3 days I feel I've fallen off the bandwagon, the horse, the metaphorical thing which moves speedily in the direction one hopes to go.  I've not painted, played, danced, sang, or made anything.  I've crawled around my apartment leaving only to make appearances at a few obligations around town.  I've begun my plotting of my next painting.  I sometimes feel like I'm writing a horse backwards.  I'm going to my studio first thing tomorrow.  I'm hoping I can climb back on.