so...i don't know how well tonight went.  i'm just so exhausted all the time it's hard to even sit up.  i had planned to do this painting in black and white and i started tonight.  i did start.  and then i took a break because brenden came and brought me tacos.  and as i sat there on the couch staring at my recently begun painting it just looked so chalky.  it made me think of chalk and then i thought of chalk in my mouth....like chalkboard chalk....and that made my teeth hurt.   and i mixed a whole palette full of grey paint....and now i don't even want to do it in black and white.  and the idea of going back into the studio tomorrow makes me want to turn into a puddle of mylanta.  so now i'm just in this impossible head space where i need to take more action desperately to get out of this head space but i can barely gather the strength to stand up.